He’s “Dating” Another Girl. Do I Give Him an Ultimatum?

Reader matter:

I came across a guy online just who resides 500 kilometers away. He is 34 and that I’m 53. The guy did tell me he previously a girl the guy dated “locally” and this he had been only on the website looking buddies. 90 days afterwards we realized we’ve got thoughts for every different.

Meanwhile, he however indicates he’s experiencing difficulity with his girlfriend, who is not someone he is “dating” locally. He is living with this lady and they’ve already been with each other for four years.

At long last decided we’d to fulfill to find out if it was well worth seeking. He provided me with the main reason the guy didn’t imagine it actually was straight to take action while he was still with her. At long last gave him an ultimatum and told him i possibly couldn’t play 2nd fiddle. He professed his love but mentioned he had been really baffled.

Carry out I give him ultimatum, it is the lady or me personally? Are we wrong to ask him to manufacture that decision?

-Nancy (Florida)

Dr Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! You wrote in my opinion for honesty, right? Really, could you be sitting down? Because here arrives a honey pot of real life.

You’re residing fantasy area, my precious girl. You haven’t even came across this person who might not end up being a person and exactly who might not have a girlfriend.

We extremely advise the thing is that the documentary “Catfish” (available on iTunes and Netflix) about an on-line really love scam.

But even although you cannot do that, let’s assume for a moment he is really whom he states he or she is and ignore the reality he began composing for you by sleeping about their union position.

Let us merely consider the so-called details.

A.) He is nearly twenty years younger than you.

B.) He is in a critical relationship.

C.) He said right away he’s merely trying to end up being buddies.

And so I ask you to answer, the reason why do you risk your own cardiovascular system on such an awful choice?

Issue really should not be about providing him an ultimatum, but rather, in the event you allow yourself the love you are entitled to?

In that case, next it is not the pony you need to drive into the sunset with. Operate, lady!

No guidance or psychotherapy information: The Site does not offer psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended just for utilize by customers looking for basic details interesting pertaining to issues men and women may deal with as people and also in connections and associated subject areas. Content is certainly not designed to change or act as replacement professional assessment or solution. Contained findings and opinions shouldn’t be misunderstood as specific counseling information.

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